Where does it go?
By Mikel K

I don't think
that the turtles
drink the water
that they live in,

but that water
is always diminishing,
still, the same.

December 11, 2007

My blood sugar is 168, this morning, December 11, 2007, which is not bad, considering that I ate six or eight swiss rolls, last night, and had four or five of those marshmallow treat things, and a 16 oz. coke right before bedtime. I need to not keep this sugar shit in the house, because it is always lurking in the back, and worse, in the front of my mind that it is nearby, and available, and eventually I will head to the pantry, pull it out of the box, and eat it; this is not a good thing for a guy with diabetes to do.

Anyway, someone said to me yesterday that we have to have our joys in life, and sugar, in the form of these cheap packs of one or two for a dollar nine yummies, is one of my joys, a passion really.

Fuck it, eh. What I ate last night, I can't un-eat, and we must just march on, trying to do better today.

Jaggar, the cat, and Bundy the dog, woke me at 7:15am, this morning. Bundy wanted to to outside to take care of business, and Jaggar was working on this square look out window that he has carved into the blinds in my bedroom. It's amazing how pure this cat's work is in getting it to where he can stand or lay on one of the pillows on my bed and look out at the world.

Kobain was just perched on the same pillow, but he wasn't just looking out at the world; he was whining loudly and trying to paw open the window that I leave cracked just a bit.

I said to my big, grey, long-haired cat, "you don't have to whine; I'll let you out," and he followed me to the front door, and went out into his beloved outdoors, regal tail of his pointed happily straight up to the heavens.

I dreamt of Kobain, most of last night, and what would be best for him, in regards to this move to LA in March. All summer, he seemed happy as an indoor cat, at Love's place, but last week when I took him back there for a few days, he went crazy because he could not get outside. We don't let him outside when he is at Love's house, because there is a very busy street right in front of Love's house, where people drive at fantastic and dangerous speeds.

Kobain loves living in this house where we are at, now. I don't mind letting him stay outside, like 80 percent of the time, which is the amount of time that he chooses to stay outside, because we live on a very slow, traffic-wise, street, and there is a big empty lot across the street that he seems to spend a lot of his outdoor time in.

I don't know what the living situation will be in Los Angeles, but the cat better get used to the idea that he will be living on the West Coast come March 1st!